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eye_of_a_catBack from holiday, very tired, still haven't unpacked. Friends list skip=40. Eep. So much to do, so much to catch up on, so difficult to get two minutes of peace at the computer with parents and pets around ("Jenny, come and look at this! Jenny, go on Amazon for me, would you? Jenny, can you feed the cat before he eats all of that egg fried rice? Jenny, the post office down the road just phoned up to say that the dog has walked in, can you go and get her?" I love being surrounded by family and pets, I really do, but aaaiiieee.)
People have been posting their![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif)
babficathon stories. You organised people, you! Mine is still on my computer 250 miles away, because I am a fool and forgot to transfer it to zip drive before leaving, so it won't be posted for another week at least - assuming I still like it when I look back at it after a break, of course. And I should probably decide on a title before posting it, too. Um. Sorry, ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
deborah_judge - it will be up there soonish, promise.
Yay, though!larakailyn wrote one for me! But I am not going to read it until I have done at least 40% of the things on my idiotically long to-do list, because it will provide an incentive. Yes, damn it. But, oh, it looks so tempting...
I'm surprisingly not dead despite having strongly hinted to friend with idiot boyfriend that I really, really don't like the guy. I didn't tell her directly. I am a wimp, I know, but the closest I got was "This is not your job. You should not be doing this. Tell him so," when she told us all how much pressure she felt she was under because Idiot Boyfriend can't speak to anyone else but her about all the problems he has. And I only dared do that due to half a bottle of vodka and several other supportive friends around to provide support. (Speaking of which, predictive text on SMS messages thinks that the first six letters of 'Smirnoff' should really say 'Poison'. Might have a point.)
On the first night there, she was constantly phoning him and sending him text messages, and by 'constantly' I mean 'every few minutes for three hours'. Which I can understand for a little while, and put up with for a bit longer, but finally...
Me: Listen. You are here to relax. You are not going to relax if you don't turn that damn phone off.
Her: But Boyfriend is asking how we all are and -
Me: Off.
Her: Okay. I'll just text Boyfriend to say that I'm turning my phone off and I'll call him in the morning as soon as I turn it back on again. Or he'll worry.
Me: *headwall*
I think she divides men up into Nice Guys and Bastards. Since Boyfriend is not actively evil - under other circumstances, I might even admit that deep down he's basically a good person - she thinks there can be no problems in her relationship which aren't her fault. She has been telling me for the entire holiday that she's under so much pressure it is starting to seriously affect the rest of her life - her short-term memory has deteriorated to the point where she's in constant trouble at work, she can't stay awake half the time, she feels like she's falling apart inside. She will not accept that this is caused mostly by her relationship with a man who is using her as an emotional punchbag.
He lives a 40-minute drive away, and is unemployed with a car. My friend commutes two hours every day as it is. Every time they meet up, every time he calls her and says he's feeling a bit miserable, she goes to see him - never the other way around. A very tactful "Um, why can't he drive to see you occasionally?" resulted in half an hour of He's So Messed Up, He Doesn't Even Like Driving! lectures. I hate this guy. I really, really hate this guy.
On the drive back, I was in charge of sending text messages to Boyfriend as she was driving. I wrote them exactly as she dictated them, with lots of 'Sweetie' and 'Love you' and 'xoxoxo', although the temptation to write something... else... was very strong.
But apart from that, the holiday was good. I was cheerful for most of it, and then went into a miserable little slump on the second evening, which I think bothered people. My friends can cope with people who cry when they're feeling really unhappy, or people who scream, or people who just want to forget about it, but I just sit and look blank and they don't know what to do with me. I read once that it takes half as long as a relationship lasted to get over it, which means I've got just under two years to go of being mostly fine with periods of "Please, I know you want to help, but could you just let me sit in this corner and be miserable?"
Friends eventually coped, with me and the girl with the idiot boyfriend, by finding Dirty Dancing among the video collection. We watched this religiously at every single teenage sleepover we ever had, to the point where even I can quote large chunks of the script off by heart.
Them: Hey, look, we found Dirty Dancing! Want to watch it?
Me: Um, I'd rather just sit in this corner and -
Them: Nobody puts Baby in a corner!
Which I should have seen coming, admittedly. And, after about the third viewing, and after all the other teenage sleepover things we decided would be a great idea - Truth or Dare featuring prominently - I was okay. If a bit tired now.
Oh, who am I kidding. I'm off to read that fic.
People have been posting their
babficathon stories. You organised people, you! Mine is still on my computer 250 miles away, because I am a fool and forgot to transfer it to zip drive before leaving, so it won't be posted for another week at least - assuming I still like it when I look back at it after a break, of course. And I should probably decide on a title before posting it, too. Um. Sorry, deborah_judge - it will be up there soonish, promise. Yay, though!
larakailyn wrote one for me! But I am not going to read it until I have done at least 40% of the things on my idiotically long to-do list, because it will provide an incentive. Yes, damn it. But, oh, it looks so tempting...I'm surprisingly not dead despite having strongly hinted to friend with idiot boyfriend that I really, really don't like the guy. I didn't tell her directly. I am a wimp, I know, but the closest I got was "This is not your job. You should not be doing this. Tell him so," when she told us all how much pressure she felt she was under because Idiot Boyfriend can't speak to anyone else but her about all the problems he has. And I only dared do that due to half a bottle of vodka and several other supportive friends around to provide support. (Speaking of which, predictive text on SMS messages thinks that the first six letters of 'Smirnoff' should really say 'Poison'. Might have a point.)
On the first night there, she was constantly phoning him and sending him text messages, and by 'constantly' I mean 'every few minutes for three hours'. Which I can understand for a little while, and put up with for a bit longer, but finally...
Me: Listen. You are here to relax. You are not going to relax if you don't turn that damn phone off.
Her: But Boyfriend is asking how we all are and -
Me: Off.
Her: Okay. I'll just text Boyfriend to say that I'm turning my phone off and I'll call him in the morning as soon as I turn it back on again. Or he'll worry.
Me: *headwall*
I think she divides men up into Nice Guys and Bastards. Since Boyfriend is not actively evil - under other circumstances, I might even admit that deep down he's basically a good person - she thinks there can be no problems in her relationship which aren't her fault. She has been telling me for the entire holiday that she's under so much pressure it is starting to seriously affect the rest of her life - her short-term memory has deteriorated to the point where she's in constant trouble at work, she can't stay awake half the time, she feels like she's falling apart inside. She will not accept that this is caused mostly by her relationship with a man who is using her as an emotional punchbag.
He lives a 40-minute drive away, and is unemployed with a car. My friend commutes two hours every day as it is. Every time they meet up, every time he calls her and says he's feeling a bit miserable, she goes to see him - never the other way around. A very tactful "Um, why can't he drive to see you occasionally?" resulted in half an hour of He's So Messed Up, He Doesn't Even Like Driving! lectures. I hate this guy. I really, really hate this guy.
On the drive back, I was in charge of sending text messages to Boyfriend as she was driving. I wrote them exactly as she dictated them, with lots of 'Sweetie' and 'Love you' and 'xoxoxo', although the temptation to write something... else... was very strong.
But apart from that, the holiday was good. I was cheerful for most of it, and then went into a miserable little slump on the second evening, which I think bothered people. My friends can cope with people who cry when they're feeling really unhappy, or people who scream, or people who just want to forget about it, but I just sit and look blank and they don't know what to do with me. I read once that it takes half as long as a relationship lasted to get over it, which means I've got just under two years to go of being mostly fine with periods of "Please, I know you want to help, but could you just let me sit in this corner and be miserable?"
Friends eventually coped, with me and the girl with the idiot boyfriend, by finding Dirty Dancing among the video collection. We watched this religiously at every single teenage sleepover we ever had, to the point where even I can quote large chunks of the script off by heart.
Them: Hey, look, we found Dirty Dancing! Want to watch it?
Me: Um, I'd rather just sit in this corner and -
Them: Nobody puts Baby in a corner!
Which I should have seen coming, admittedly. And, after about the third viewing, and after all the other teenage sleepover things we decided would be a great idea - Truth or Dare featuring prominently - I was okay. If a bit tired now.
Oh, who am I kidding. I'm off to read that fic.
