It has recently come to my attention that something I thought happened to everybody might just happen to me. I still think it's fairly common, but I am prepared to be proven wrong by the forces of LiveJournal. So.[Poll #1218869][Poll #1218869]
ETA: Yay for MeFi. It seems that it's fairly normal as an occasional childhood thing? Huh.
So, the evangelical circle of people I mentioned in the f-locked post below do a lot of things together, and I am starting to be invited to these things (not as a conversion attempt, just as a social event). Which, hey, fun. But at these events, there is discussion of religious matters and beliefs that my liberal, Catholic self and my conservative, evangelical compadres disagree on. I'm sketching out a new set of rules for myself about which things aren't worth engaging with and which things are worth speaking up about (well, I have one already for social gatherings with evangelicals, but it requires some adapting for members of this particular church - not because they're worse people, but because they have some beliefs I've not encountered before), and adapting it as I go along.

So what I wondered was: what are your rules for this kind of thing, and where do you draw the line between letting it go and confronting it when it comes to things you find objectionable?

For myself, I usually lean towards letting it go, on the grounds that the purpose of social events is not to prove who's right but to be good to each other and enjoy the company. There are many occasions when I've felt like jumping in to correct a few things, especially if they're statements like "Christians believe [insert belief specific to evangelical Protestants]", but I won't do so if it's only going to come off as confrontational ("and as a Christian, I believe that sola scriptura is a Protestant heresy!"), which is, well, most of the time. But on the other hand, there are some things I really don't want to stay quiet about, and don't think should be allowed to pass without comment. "Gay people are more concerned with their own pleasure than with what God wants", for example, deserves some sort of rejoinder, especially when the person saying it is assuming you agree with them, and I once caused a very awkward pause at somebody else's party by disagreeing rather firmly with that one. So, where do you all draw the line between 'not causing awkward silences at the dinner table' and 'not letting offensive material go unchallenged'?

(Tangentially, also, I don't think the people in this particular circle know what I believe. Some of them assume I'm one of them, and some of them class me as non-religious. Their church has a very poor opinion of liberal Christians and of Catholics, so possibly this is for the best, but... there'll have to be a point at which I mention it, sooner or later. Wonder how well that's going to go down?)
I'm moving into my new place soon. Possibly on Sunday. Possibly not on Sunday. There is a key issue. It doesn't matter. Anyway, thing is, this is a one-bedroom flat for just me, and I've never lived on my own before.


I'm a fairly independent person and I like my own space, so this prospect is not entirely a thing of dread to me. I'm looking forward to doing the dishes at whatever point I deem it fit, to having supreme remote rights over the TV, to putting up pictures of anything I like the look of, etc. etc. On the other hand, I'm used to having someone there to talk to, and to share the chores and coffee-making with, and to just, well, be there. I don't think being on my own all the time will quite feel like having the place to myself for a few days.

And thus I am asking you, dear f-list, for any general ideas that you think might be of use if you've gone through the same kind of transition yourself. This is a time of huge clunking transitions in my life that aren't much fun to deal with all together, although they are all part and parcel of finishing the PhD and moving on (at some point? hopefully? maybe?) etc., and I'm a little concerned that living on my own is going to turn into Lonely Hellish Nightmare Land without much encouragement. I've already been close to tears twice today over things on the TV, and I do not usually cry at things on the TV, so, yes. If there are any big things that I'm going to confront about living alone, I'd rather see them coming, is what I'm saying. Or if there's anything I can do to make it feel more like My Place and less like the dungeon in which I am condemned to rest during the academic job search, really.

(If this is relevant - it's a furnished place with a no-pets clause, and I am, as always, close to broke.)



July 2017

1718 1920212223

Expand Cut Tags

No cut tags

Most Popular Tags

Style Credit